one of the most perplexing things on tumblr that i often see is this weird romanticization of bottoming in male/male pairings. Like I’ve seen people wax poetic about how vulnerable the bottom is in doing it or that post i just reblogged saying power bottoms are brave


first of all there is nothing vulnerable in bottoming. sometimes people don’t like someone inside them and that’s okay, but there’s a huge amount of men who have sex with men who actively enjoy bottoming. sometimes bottoming is just something people want to do. much more often than not, sex is just sex and there’s no particular deeper meaning behind it

and if bottoming is vulnerable, what does that say about people with vagoos who essentially have to ‘bottom’? are they constantly vulnerable during sex? that’s a little sexist of an implication

it’s not weaker or feminine to be the “””receiver”””, it’s not masculine to be the “””giver”””

and if you want to make bottoming be about relinquishing control that is patently not true. the bottom has just as much control as the top does. the moment the bottom says “stop” or “no” or “don’t do that” or whatever, you know what happens if the top doesn’t stop: it’s definitely not sex anymore

i don’t get it. as a very gay man who knows/has talked to a lot of other gay men, we don’t get it.

and i definitely don’t get and am often angered by the trend in fanfiction where the smaller man (and sometimes the “smaller” man) is often delegated as the permanent bottom. it’s not cool at all


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